To Soar

BUT it is incredibly difficult. In fact, an impossibility for far too many of us. We said we want to let go, we said we need to let go, we went to see counsellor… yet it is still clinging on to us somehow, somewhere .

So what is this “Letting GO” is all about

In accordance to Cambridge Dictionary, it is simply to stop holding on to something or to stop thinking about or being about the past or something that happened in the past

The definition is probably not surprising but what is surprising is this word is used quite frequently either on others or ourselves

Recently, I seen another client who came to see me about coaching, when I asked her “what does she want to work on ?”

She told me she wants to find coping mechanism with regards to her situation, where she is stressful and anxious. To shorten the story, she went away with a new strategy ie understanding what is within and beyond her control, and works around what is within her influence of control. She is happy.

The next session, she reported that the strategy has been useful but then she realised all her anxieties, stresses , fear is not just about coping mechanisms, there is the need to let go so she is able to fully move forward.

She eagerly seeks to move on with her life but somehow this unforgiveness self of her is not in agreement, she found she has sweeping it under the carpet and it has gone right back to her and staying right there.

Letting go takes literal work on our part and might take time where it requires us to do some introspection about what’s true and what we’re actually attached to.  

Can you remember how you felt when you broke off with your first boy/girlfriend? The world seem to come to an end, isn’t it ? A wound that seem to never recover. What about that divorce ? That Perfect job?   

Unfortunately, we often experience events in our lives that feel much bigger than that and leave us with a void that feels insurmountable. Perhaps it’s abuse, or the abandonment by our parent(s),or our partner/spouse. These types of events leave us with wounds that are carved deep into our souls and can be much more challenging to overcome than the puppy love.

It is not about simply forgetting what has happened but rather an acceptance of what had happened, the situation, and the self.

When we accept a situation, or ourselves, there is a transformative change within us, as though we found we no longer need to cling to the person, the situation or an unforgiveness within self.

“If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.” Amit Ray

Logical yet many despite the desire to fly in the sky, remain on the ground as there was such a strong pull on the earth.  

So, how can one truly let go and be free, soaring in the sky as one seeks.

Can you honestly ask yourself,  "have I done these"

1. A truth acceptance of whatever has had happened.

2. Focus on the Positive, the NOW.

3. Build your support system be it your mindfulness exercise, friends around you, even having that therapist / counsellor to walk you with you

4. Be Kind to yourself 

Acceptance is probably the hardest part in letting go. How do I accept a situation especially when it involved my child sudden departure in life. Hence I realised the last stage or the hardest stage is acceptance because there is always the immense guilt as a parent. It is a form of reconciliation, not resignation yourself to the fate, but an ability to tab into your empathy sage.

Know that the human spirit has the capacity to overcome almost anything. 

When we let go of the thought that we can’t heal from something that has deeply wounded us, we open ourselves up to the growth potential this event holds.

Focus on the Positive 

When you are on the positive mindset, surroundings, you will start to notice – the good is flowing into you. Likewise when you focus on the negatives, you see all the bad happenings. What you focus is what you get – your reality is your own construct (pls refer to my earlier article where it was explained in more details)

Build Your support System

Have a group of people who believes in you and support you in making the changes. So you know you are not doing it alone. Your family, friends, loved ones who care for you, they want to help, think for a moment, would you lend a hand, does accountability checks for eg for a friend in needs?

Be Kind to yourself 

And I want to end with this quote “ Be kind. Learn to be kind to yourself. Let your mind free, close your eyes, breathe deeply and remain calm. Life is majestic and meaningful enough. Kindness is in vogue. Be kind to yourself. You are a work in progress. In fact we all are. Be kind to yourself.

If it is time for you soar in the sky, and leave the earth, ‘let go’ of that burden that you have been carrying, or be willing to let someone help to gradually, gently remove it so the gravity no longer holds you back.  🙏