Dare to communicate authenticity

Humans are social beings and if there’s one thing universal about us, it is the fact that we interact daily with the people around us, face to face, virtually or even through writing (text, emailing etc) or using some other form of medium like television or even crying (babies).    There is a saying that there is no way, we don’t communicate, in fact we communicate all the time even in silence! 

For it is communication that enables us to experience our lives and share our experiences with others.  

Communication is not little things in life, it’s life itself.   

And this interaction takes place for multiple reasons. We usually communicate with the people around us to share our thoughts, emotions, ideas, feelings, needs and many things along these lines.  

Virginia Satir, psychotherapist who was well recognised for her work especially in family therapy work.  She commented that how a person manages his/her survival, is through developing of intimacy and how he/she makes sense of the world,  all these are largely dependent on his/her communication ability.  

If you allow me to say this, a successful marriage is built upon the foundation of good communication between the husband and wife.  When there is breakdown in communication,  we know what happened to the marriage. 

So what is communication 

Communication is widely known as  the process of sending and receiving information through verbal and/or non-verbal means. 

Simple? 

Too often we think that if we are not talking, we are not communicating, and that is the furthest from the truth.  Whether we are verbally saying something out loud, or not we are communicating, and it is our non-verbal signals and cues that reflect what we think or feel.  Your posture, gestures, facial expressions, dressing, use of time, use of a cellular phone, even the car you drive are part of that communication. 

Have you heard of The 7-38-55 Rule  

indicates that only 7% of all communication is done through verbal communication, the words we speak, whereas the nonverbal component of our daily communication, such as the tonality of our voice, make up 38% and 55% from the speaker's body language and facial expressions.  (for more information, please refer to my workshop on communications.  https://www.bl.uk/people/albert-mehrabian 

Have a think about your communication with friends, family, colleagues -boss or subordinates.  Be it written or spoken,  what do you notice? 

Yes, we generally focused on the words we said especially when written but again we would never know how the other person received it as there is no tone, no expression, everything is at the discretion of the other person, the receiver. 

And what has Authenticity to do with communication? 

Authentic communication is a communication style characterized by honesty, integrity, empathy, and self-awareness.  

At all levels of society, people are expecting greater levels of humanity, understanding, and honesty from their leaders, which entails leaders to be engaged, committed and genuine in their thoughts and actions.   

When you communicate authentically, you bring your whole self—your thoughts, feelings, and experiences—with you.   

 When a manager communicates authentically, it shows that they view their direct reports as human beings worthy of respect and dignity. Even during challenging times, when unpopular decisions need to be made or unpopular positions need to be taken, when communicates authentically, trust is built  

Sherly Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook commented authentic communication is not just stating what you think, regardless of consequences, but rather it is a communicating effectively ie truly listening to what other people are saying, it's about a leader’s statement provide room in which others feel able to communicate their thoughts and feelings honesty and authentically. 

 Yes it is a 2 ways traffic, where there is listening, where there is a flow,  where there is honestly with thoughts, feeling and experiences shared authentically. 

Authenticity   

Put simply, authenticity means you're true to your own personality, values, and spirit, regardless of the pressure that you're under to act otherwise. You're honest with yourself and with others, and you take responsibility for your mistakes. Your values, ideals, and actions align.  

When we speak authenticity, we align to our truth, yet we are also mindful of how our communication is perceived, ie not assumed I know but rather paying attention to the entire person.