The KEY to Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever felt that you don’t belong?  Like your friends or colleagues are going to discover you’re a fraud, and you don’t deserve your job and accomplishments? 

I can’t believe this client of mine who is in quite a senior position saying this to me!  I mean I read so much about it that I, myself, am getting a little too familiar with the description, the syndrome as it said.  (To let you into my little secret, I realized I kind of have them too, I mean some of my clients whom I coached are in very senior positions with titles of Managing Director,  Senior directors etc – am I really in the position to coach them when I haven’t been in that position myself).    So, you see none of us escape that syndrome.... 

Impostor syndrome, also known as impostor phenomenon or  impostorism is a psychological occurrence in which an individual doubts their skills, talents, or accomplishments and has a persistent internalized fear of being exposed as a fraud. Despite external evidence of their competence, those experiencing this phenomenon do not believe they deserve their success or luck.  

I am puzzled why would someone who has so much success in their job, still doubt themselves.   This client continues “I am worried what if they asked me about my ambition then the cat would be out of the bag, I have no ambition unlike the others who are truly highly ambition, know what they want.  I just want to do a good job, add value, have a cohesive workplace, no conflicts.  If I were to tell them that I have no ambition, will that mean I would lose my job since that perfect image of mine is all gone.    And situation is rather uncertain now with lots of redundancy happening right now...” 

There have been so many talks/ blogs on how to deal with this syndrome and I bet like this client of mine, who is highly intelligence and has no lack of knowledge.  In fact, she said the very thing to me –It’s all in my head but how do I do what I know. 

Since most of us have no lack of knowledge or shall I say the head knowledge. 

Shall we move beyond the know, the head knowledge that we all know?  Clearly it is not the information that we have the challenges with. 

If we are honest, most of our troubles or challenges has little to do with knowledge or information as most information can be easily found on line but the underlying,  the alignment,  the 'rightness' within ourselves,  more to answer to ourselves than anyone else...

We know what imposter syndrome is, we understand the traits, but it does not necessarily mean we can easily get rid of those imposter syndromes we have. 

Since knowing does not help as this client asked “how do I do what I know”. 

Is embracing Authenticity the answer to this question? 

Authenticity simply means genuine, not a copy, true to the oneself, when we embrace our full being it means a full acceptance of who we are and that means self-awareness and courage to be just ME 

Self-awareness comes from retrospection to reflect on our good and bad, our strengths and weakness, and the emotional intelligence (EQ) to cope and manage the feedback 

Courage is knowing that there is no perfect me, there is no shame being me.   It is the full acceptance of me, standing up each time despite adversity   It is just me, full of self-compassion. 

Courage is the ability to speak up, to show up even during times of adversity? 

Imposter Syndromes comes from the lack of the ability of accepting the full self, as in I am simply just not good enough, the need to achieve and very likely to come from a family background of either super-achievers or needing to please to gain acceptance. 

When we can fully accept the SELF, who I am, there is no longer the need to chase for the acceptance of others.   In other words, the ability to recognise your own strengths and abilities rather than choosing to doubt yourself. 

Embracing one's own authenticity is not a destiny but a journey, a continuous journey of discovery and living courageously.     

Whenever we are doubtful of the self, our imposter syndromes surface where they will try to tell us otherwise.   

Authenticity is Your who that comes alive in Your what. 

Imposter syndrome is what you do fall to align to who you are?   Hence the doubts of what you do is not good enough? 

When you align what you do to who you are, the sense of unworthiness will no longer exist because an identity has no good or bad.  It is simply you! 

To begin your journey of self-discovery, explore your strengths (what is realised strengths vs learnt behaviours vs hidden strengths),  what is your personality traits, what is your values (the inner compass that have been directing your life), and what is your life map – that peak/trough, etc  that you have gone through to make you who you are today. 

Most important of all, to reflect upon all that you have uncovered and stay truth to your calling! 

If you are ready to claim your authenticity.  Let’s chat.