Ultimate Goal

Do you know what you are actually pursuing in your life? 

All of us is pursing something, from birth, whether it is about physical materials, status, or feeling of happiness, satisfaction, gratifying .. 

A baby seeks to be fed, clean, to be played with... 

A child seeks fun, food satisfaction and parents' approval... 

What about an adult?  A young adult vs someone who passes midlife?  Any difference? 

We are always pursuing but do you know why you purse what you pursue 

And why many called it midlife crisis when most around 40s (some could be earlier or later) started asking questions about life or made a drastic change in what they have been previously relentlessly pursuing. 

Is there such a thing as ultimate goal in life? 

Is your life goal different from your career goal? 

A recent conversation with a client told me she realised she has no clear goals in life (upon doing her strength profile), she wonder is it ok because she only wants to learn, wants to be able to create an impact on others.   

SO what actually is a goal?  Is it really important to have a goal in life or in one’s career? 

Goal simply said is just the object of a person's ambition or effort; an aim or desired result.   In other words, all of us kind of have a goal only how clear we are on it like the popular terms “SMART” goal ie  Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound so we know clearly when we achieved it because there is a measurement with time and criteria. 

You see, whatever goals we seek like this case of my client always comes from the inner desires of one’s unfulfilled needs and core/acquired values. 

Values is the compass that drives all motivations in life, whether you are aware or not.     It is simply who you are, your unique definition of how to be that autonomous, competent nd moral member of society. 

What about needs? 

Needs are what we can’t do without 

Wants are what we can survive without it but might mean we might not be too happy about not having it. 

How many of us know what we want vs what we need and if known, how clear are we on it? 

Maslow Hierarchy of Needs 

Maslow's hierarchy of needs is a theory of motivation which states that five categories of human needs dictate an individual's behavior. Those needs are physiological needs, safety needs, love and belonging needs, esteem needs, and self-actualization needs. 

This is a pretty old theory as I first came across it like 35years ago during my studies.   After so many years, I found that it still made a lot sense. 

Maslow's theory presents his hierarchy of needs in a pyramid shape, with basic needs at the bottom of the pyramid and more high-level, intangible needs at the top. A person can only move on to addressing the higher-level needs when their basic needs are adequately fulfilled.  

1. Physiological needs: The first of the id-driven lower needs on Maslow's hierarchy are physiological needs. These most basic human survival needs include food and water, sufficient rest, clothing and shelter, overall health, and reproduction. Maslow states that these basic physiological needs must be addressed before humans move on to the next level of fulfilment.  

2. Safety needs: Next among the lower-level needs is safety. Safety needs include protection from violence and theft, emotional stability and well-being, health security, and financial security.  

3. Love and belonging needs: The social needs on the third level of Maslow’s hierarchy relate to human interaction and are the last of the so-called lower needs. Among these needs are friendships and family bonds—both with biological family (parents, siblings, children) and chosen family (spouses and partners). Physical and emotional intimacy ranging from sexual relationships to intimate emotional bonds are important to achieving a feeling of elevated kinship. Additionally, membership in social groups contributes to meeting this need, from belonging to a team of co-workers to forging an identity in a union, club, or group of hobbyists.  

4. Esteem needs: The higher needs, beginning with esteem, are ego-driven needs. The primary elements of esteem are self-respect (the belief that you are valuable and deserving of dignity) and self-esteem (confidence in your potential for personal growth and accomplishments). Maslow specifically notes that self-esteem can be broken into two types: esteem which is based on respect and acknowledgment from others, and esteem which is based on your own self-assessment. Self-confidence and independence stem from this latter type of self-esteem.  

5. Self-actualization needs: Self-actualization describes the fulfilment of your full potential as a person. Sometimes called self-fulfilment needs, self-actualization needs occupy the highest spot-on Maslow's pyramid. Self-actualization needs include education, skill development—the refining of talents in areas such as music, athletics, design, cooking, and gardening—caring for others, and broader goals like learning a new language, traveling to new places, and winning awards. 

Maslow referred to self-actualization as a “growth need,” and he separated it from the lower four levels on his hierarchy, which he called “deficiency needs.” According to his theory, if you fail to meet your deficiency needs, you’ll experience harmful or unpleasant results. Conditions ranging from illness and starvation up through loneliness and self-doubt are the byproducts of unmet deficiency needs. By contrast, self-actualization needs can make you happier, but you are not harmed when these needs go unfulfilled. Thus, self-actualization needs only become a priority when the other four foundational needs are met. 

Do you know where you are today on this Pyramid? 

But before you answer, think about what your definition of fulfilment in each level is, example the psychological needs – at what level of that can it then be considered fulfilled, when you have Porche, house worth millions, afford luxury or it is more about the basic. 

You see, all of us are unique, my level of fulfilment or satisfaction at each level is different, although we might all have those 5 levels of hierarchy of needs, how much one needs to be satisfied and move on can be quite a debate. 

Also, it is said without human connections – a baby will literally die away if only given the psychological needs without the love.   

For many, me included; still have very strong “deficiency needs” ie my psychological needs although I might not starve or under war conditions, there is an intrinsic need - it is a question of how much and that is the difference among each one of us.  How many friends I need, how much money/wealth I need etc before I can pursue this deep fulfilment, satisfaction of my life.   

What I am trying to say here is although the pyramid is useful, the level of satisfaction varied especially with our modern days living.  Ultimately it comes back to you what you seek in life – basic needs, materials wants or your personal growth ie self-actualisation, your happiness. 

We might not die immediately without growth, but we do decay unconsciously, unknowingly if we are not happy, if we live without a purpose/meaning in life... 

We humans are known as meaning-making machines, the fact remains that Human beings are remarkably complex, possessing the incredible ability to find meaning in everything around us. This unique trait has earned us the title of 'meaning-making machines.'" 

The journey of self-discovery is a fascinating process of exploring and understanding ourselves as we navigate through life. It's not a destination but an ongoing adventure, triggered by major life events, losses, or simply a desire to delve deeper into who we truly are. 

Are you living for survival, for that material wealth and luxuries?   Or there is more to that materials processions? 

What are you seeking in your ultimate goal in life? 

If this blog speaks to you, let’s chat 

p.s. All choices lie within you, to live in scarify or to live in abundance